All my life I've been afraid of failure yet didn't realize till a few weeks ago. I stopped myself from taking steps so I wouldn't fail. Always afraid to try, not taking risks when I needed to, watching others reach their goals from a distance. For a long time I thought I wasn't losing weight because of my relationship with my parents, my boyfriend, not having a girlfriend, past abuse from my childhood etc etc etc. Not I think I'm using w,my weight as an excuse to not do anything, not try. I am the fat girl. I am the girl with problems whatever they are. I just wanted people to see me as that girl I guess. But honestly I don't believe that's what they see. It's only me. I'm abusing myself because I'm too scared to fail.
This all is about to change. This time I feel geniunly honest with myself. That's why I decided to keep a blog about my weight loss journey. I am hoping to feel the responsibility of taking care of myself stronger than ever.
Tomorrow is Day#1. 283 days to 2011. We'll see how it goes.
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