Happy Birthday to ME!

I've got a feeling this year will be awesome!! :) I woke to have lost 1 lbs! Even my scale is being nice to me. Imagine all the possibilities!!! I'm officially celebrating tomorrow with a bunch of girlfriends and Ivy (her birthday is wednesday). 4 years of friendship and finally we're celebrating together :D

People I feel good! Wish you all feel as good too ♥

Back Home & In Trouble

 It's good to be back. It's time to face the reality. I gained 3.5lbs! That is huge! It's so huge that I wanna cut flesh off of my body to get rid of it right away! I'm so embarrasssed to come back after two weeks and tell you all this is what I did. I will go ahead and confess I binged three times the past 10 days. That is such a high number at this point. But I'm home now and don't have any excuses. I need to get back into the "healthy mind" already and get the numbers going down again.

I had fun though. I don't regret relaxing a little. I don't diet to just lose weight. I'm trying to turn everything I know and still learning into a life style. And in real life you do take vacations and gain a couple of pounds. You just come back to your daily routine and you lose that extra naturally. I admit if I don't lose it back in a week I'll probably have a different attitude. But it will be only because I would have disappointed myself. So we'll have some rules brought back this week if I don't want that happenning. The lazy in me needs to move out.

These rules to be followed for the next two weeks (mon 05/24 - sat 06/05)

1 - no sugar 

(fresh fruit only)

2 - min 5 servings of veggies & fruits

3 - no processed food or junk

4 - eat 1300-1600 calories

5 - limit fat

6 - do whatever workout I can 

(as long as my knees let me)

7- not gonna weigh in untill June 6

Of course there are nice things going on too. Like my mother did a major spring cleaning in my room. I don't think this room was ever this clean. I need to do some reorganizing but feels like the room is shining with pride! Mama is my hero of the month! (and probably all the other 11 months too)

I have to admit though the best part of coming home is my boyfriend. After so many years I still think it's a miracle that we ever met and became close friends, then finally fall in love... Oops I'm getting too emotional all of a sudden. I think catching up with Gray's Anatomy did some damage. What the hell was those last two episodes! Reminds me we still haven't seen the Lost finali. I did consider staying up till morning (was shown here same time as USA) but decided it was silly. I also download every episode then wait to watch it with my boy. We're hoping to watch it tomorrow evening if he is not too tired after his workout. So freaking excited!

I'm ending today's post with this lovely photo of Ivy with the little cat who found us on their backyard and adopted us all by himself! (I think he is a he but may be not) He kinda made us give him milk by drinking Ivy's coffee so casually and looking like enjoying it a lot. He joined us for dinner that day and disappeared the day after to reappear and even jumo in the car with us just the next day. Ivy tells me he still comes and goes and I fell in love with him so bad that I'm torturing my little dog evne worse now. She's fine yet but it's only cos she missed me too much. Next week she'll be hiding from me =) She is a free spirit! ♥

Ankara Update & We Even Have A Dog

Tonight Ivy's mother is coming back from her trip and our freedom is cut back a little. Ivy is cleaning the apartment inch by inch. Apparently her mother is getting obsessed with cleaning by the minute. I didn't realize that the other two times I visited them, but we'll see how bad it is. 

Ivy also has a little dog, Gypsy, who has been living with another family for a few years now. It's Gypsy with Ivy (and her cleaning outfit) on the photo I just took.We picked him up yesterday so he'll be spending some time with us till sunday afternoon. He has a vet appointment the next day so his stay will be short. He is making miss my little doggy. It's always nice to have a little pet in the house. They can make you smile more than you bargained for.

Before we went to pick up Gypsy we of course went to a Starbucks. While we were sitting there, having our drinks we could see a kebab restaurant on a lower level and we saw a woman butcher a meal. In Turkey one of the most popular items is an Iskender Kabab. I certainly love it. It's served as flat bread heated with butter, very thinly sliced meat in the middle, then some tomato sauce and sizzling butter on top with some Turkish yogurt on the side. You get the picture I'm guessing. It tastes like heaven and it even loves you back. This woman sat there and mixed it all up, cutting the meat even smaller, tossed everything upside down and turned that beautiful plate into baby food. I got angry at her. That's what I felt and I'm not sure if it bothers me that I had such a strong reaction. Ivy had deep disappointment in her face also.

I don't think she should be allowed to eat in public. You know a lot of bloggers talk about secret eating and feeling embarrassed eating in front of people. I don't see the point. We (yeah I'm assuming) respect the food, treat it well, love it, care about it. At least that's how I feel.

This is a high calorie day for both of us. Just letting you know. I feel guilty if I don't write it here. I still feel sick though. May be it's my fault for not resting enough. But I'm not here that often so I wanna enjoy my time with my friend and I should have a right to. Not being able to weigh in is also getting to me a little. Not that I'm worried about it. I just wish I knew what happened to my body all week. I'll be taking measurements again in 2-4 weeks. I haven't decided what would be best. I gotta see my calendar and plan this from now on. Planning is good for me. Even when I "fail" to keep up with a schedule or plan I still do better. I like order in my life. Not too much of it though :)

Now that we had some naughty food I'm craving a huge salad and loquats. Isn't it lovely! =)

P.S. This is my second post for the day. I did a little video blog also. I mention dinner in it so here is what I ended up having. (sorry about the messy plate) It is a sort of pasta salad. I have both chicken and tuna in it. (Don't ask me! I'm really scared to know what I'll crave when I get pregnant!) So we have some greens in it, peppers, corn, lots of seasoning (red pepper, thyme, mint) and turkish yogurt as dressing. It was a little hot and I loved it. Couldn't finish the whole thing, it turned out a little too big when I finished adding everything I wanted in. :)


Have a fabulous weekend!

Ankara

That's our capital for those who don't know. So I'm in Ankara and I got the flu. I blame the ac on the bus. But mum has it too and dad was recovering when I left so... who knows. I'm guessing I'll be better in a couple of days. I'm not exactly resting in bed but not killing myself either.

It's good to be here. I missed Ivy so much. We have the whole apartment to ourselves and having a little girl time and some fun. Yesterday we also had a guest, Dodo. He is the nicest, sweetest guy on earth and he can't stop laughing at everything for some reason. He also lost a lot of weight since I've seen him last year. Hoping to see him more before I leave. I decided to go back home next thursday by the way. J might come to stay with us over the weekend. Still haven't decided yet. She has a lot to do for school and will let us know by tomorrow. We have some work to do here too. Working slowly on some graduation projects. Oh these bs never ends with the school work.

We had a pizza and ice cream day yesterday. But we are still on our diet schedule more or less. This was our shopping cart on monday. We went grocery shopping as soon as Ivy picked me up from the bus station. See nothing naughty... some chicken breast, turkey, sugar-free ice tea, salad greens, lots of fruit!

Meet my dinner from monday. (I decided I needed to supply some proof) My chicken as always, some salad with fatfree dressing and frozen potatoes with no oil, little ketchup, very little mustard.


This was luch on tuesday. My pasta with tons of tomato, garlic and scallions. One stuffed eggplant. (We like stuffind veggies and leaves in Turkey and when I see eggplant my heart beats faster)




I almost forgot, my left knee has been hurting like a bitch. Well it's been better today. But it started on monday and I was in pain for so long. My eyes teared every time I had to go down the stairs even just one step. I really need to see my doctor when I go back home. I'm guessing he will tell me I need physical therapy. I do not have any means of affording that at the moment and beyond that if I get "the job" I won't have any time. Hope we'll figure out a way to fix it without more trouble.

I haven't worked out since I've been here. But have my weights and videos with me. We can also go for walks when I get better. But we really need to get up early cos it's burning hot in this city. I'm guessing Istanbul will be so hot too when I get back. This summer has come way too fast for me. I never look forward to it. Now it's here and I wish I had the power to keep spring going on for the whole year. Speaking of mind power I just finished reading The Sphere by Michael Crichton. I love this guy so much. Another great book. Always makes me want more. I stole this quote from wiki for you: The New York Times's Robin McKinley said "Part of the fun of Sphere is that it keeps you going even when you're pretty sure of what will happen next." I think I'm reading Timeline by Crichton next.

Today we went out to Starbucks. I don't know what anybody did before Starbucks. I feel so home at any Starbucks. It feels like everybody feels better there. I used to go to Starbucks to study, now I go to read a book, write in my journal, just to get out of my own head... Yeah, one other obsession of mine.

I had a haircut yesterday. Don't like it. The guy didn't get what I wanted and I ended up with this mess. Well.. I'll survive. This is what I looked like drinking my cappuccino today. I don't really like my photo being taken. But hell I wanted to share. For a miracle just for you I'm even smiling :)

My face looks bloated. Look under my eyes. huge bags. Well the bags is a curse for the women in my family. But that's not the point. I sometimes like being bloated cos when it goes down it feels like I lost a lot of weight all of a sudden :p I'll always be a kid (or baby) at heart. 

This is Ivy telling me we don't look good in photos so what's the point :D I think she asked for it complaining too much. Hahaha she looks funny and this is my blog so I got the power *still giggling* I don't think she looks bad though. If I thought so I wouldn't put this photo. I'm not evil. Just bad sometimes.

I asked Ivy to write a guest post on my blog. She said yes. I'm letting you know so she won't have a way out of it if she gets lazy or sth. She has lost some weight herself. Has been working hard on it. She also has some interesting stories to tell about her years of struggle with weight issues. Of couse if she decides to share. We'll see what she'll come up with.

I've been feeling so bad cos I couldn't post for so many days. I hope I'll be able to write again soon. I miss my blog and I miss reading yours'. I have some catching up to do. Soon. I also have new followers. Always a nice surprise ♥

Have a great day everybody!
xoxo
River

Yawn

I haven't been able to sleep the last two nights. I mean I slept but I guess only enough to keep my body functioning. I feel so exhausted. I'm going to bed at 9pm with a sleeping pill tonight. I try not to take pills unless I feel like I'm drawning with the exhaustion, feeling dizzy all the time, no energy to go through the day... So I'm taking the pills two nights in a row and try to sleep on my own the next day.

I will however go for a walk by the sea tomorrow morning with J. I miss our walks so much! Especially being sick last week I got so bored. I hoped to walk on the treadmill today. Nothing too hard. Simple walk. Not happenning. I don't have the energy even a bit. I kinda wanted to skip posting but didn't want to have the guilt to build up.

I'll be going to Ankara, the capital, next week. At least I hope so. Because there is a job interview I have to but don't know when it'll be. (I want the job so bad!!!!!!!!!!!! I'll tell you about it later) I'm gonna be visiting my closest friend from college. Ivy. I hate that she went back home after the graduation! Her sister lives here and we are all here, but she is back home. I miss her so much! Are you reading this little missy?? We all miss you here! And you were suppose to come here on Fabruary. What happened?! Are you cheating on me now? I'll make you pay. Hold on. I'll be there in 7 days!

So about next week. We got some things to do with Ivy and some catching up obviously. J will also try to come towards the weekend if she can and if I stay that long. Nothing is certain yet. Another friend is also trying to come. But she needs to have a little corrective operation on her nose and her mother needs her with some stuff. So.. I don't know. We'll see who shows up. I don't mind the crowd, but I do prefer a couple of days I can be alone with Ivy.

Also there is the question of staying on track. Ivy has also some pounds to lose and she's been going to a gym everyday (I think) for awhile now. She is dieting also. But when two friends who love food so much come together things can get tricky. I hope it will not this time! But I asked her for one night of pizza and beer! I've been craving bad. And I'll do it one way or the other. So I thought I was a nice cheat for us to enjoy together. Making a movie night out of it. Hopefully we'll have worked out in the morning and burned some of the calories at least. I think we'll be celebrating the change of our lives' direction with the graduationg and looking for jobs, etc. (I don't wanna celebrate losing weight with food!)

I'm adding to this week's list:

8 - Nothing but yogurt after 6pm

9 - Get up at 7.30am every morning