Cooking, Baking, Drinking

 

You will not believe this but I have been in the right mind set for the past two days! Two whole days! Especially today, I ate all the right things all the right times. Yesterday I started the day by baking! My first real baking (I made a few cookies before) and here is what I did. You should all try it. So yummy! And still in the line to be a snack! I couldn't get myself to use sugar, so substituted with Splenda. That made the scones low fat and low sugar! Fabulous! I couldn't believe the texture was right and I didn't mess it up. The baked scones looked exactly like the photo on Skinny Taste. Hah that's my thing. I get confidence from the photos. If what I did looks like the real deal then I am proud :)

Today I cooked Minestrone! Again from SinnyTaste.com. I had to substitute lentils instead of beans. Cos we don't use canned beans and I would have to let the beans rest in water overnight (or simply six hours but hell that's overnight to me) and I really wanted to cook something healthy for dinner. It is fat-free. Well OK low-fat in reality cos there is fat in the pasta but other than that no no no no fat! And it tastes great! One big bowl fills you up and leaves you satisfied! Satisfaction is a big deal for me!

The minestrone is packed with veggies. I also had celery for lunch. Had an apple, a pear and a banana with yogurt for snacks. Well my body isn't used to so much fruit and veggies!! Haha I'm so sleepy yet I have extra energy and I feel lighter than I normally do at night. Hah! That's a good diet for ya!

Mum is totally on board. We prepared (OK I did) an apple tea in the morning with lots of herbs and lemons and cinnamon and honey. Been drinking that all day in between meals. Helped a lot with my appetite. I'm already drinking something so I'm too busy to wanna eat a chocolate cake?! That kinda deal is going on. Tomorrow I'll be eating out at least one meal. But I'm gonna take a bottle of tea with me. Also an apple may be. 

I'm resting my knee today although I did go shopping out, not around the corner but picked a further market. In the middle of a rain shower. That was fun. My right knee is scaring me. I'm giving up on trying to get along with an other doctor who my insurance pays for. Cos the last idiot I went to see didn't find any problems, gave me pills that gave me violent vertigo! I'm NOT going back. I'm gonna try to see my old doc this week if my father can take me. Cos I can't afford to pay if he asks for any tests or whatever without daddy's credit card. Yeah that's the honest truth right there.

My weekend begins tomorrow!! WooHoo Have a great one xx

How Dare You :)

 

Awww Stewie I feel your pain sweetheart! Only I don't have any ice cream in the house at the moment which is good news. For the ice cream. Me too. I am very into comfort eating today. Although it's like a hobby I haven't started yet. I'm saying so far so good. My worry is I'm done with my list today and what if I don't get sleepy soon :) It's a whole big mystery. Holly dolly now blogger informs me that imagine uploads will be disabled for two hours! Geezzz! Oh hold on silly me. It says tomorrow. Nevermind. So ha ha I uploaded my dinner to make sure. Such a paranoid yet so lovely, aren't I! (I'm in a good mood cos I'm just fed) Lots of spinach with low-fat cheese and nonfat milk mix with more seasoning and chicken breast.

I tried to go on the treadmill today after a week of no workouts cos my knee has been bad again! This time I can't even see my own doctor cos my insurance doesn't cover that hospital anymore!! This other a.hole didn't even see anything wrong with the knee. Gave me some pills said to come back in two weeks. I've been taking the pills for a week now. He also told me I could go on the treadmill, wasn't a problem. Yet 20 minutes of slowish walk I got scared my knee was giving me the finger! So whatever. I'm not gonna freak out before the 2 weeks period.

Before the knee thing I'd been doing the Physique 57 when I was away from the blog. I love that video. I can't wait to go back to it. If and when I go back I'll talk about it more. But for now I'm forcing mum to do it.

So it seems I have a new award. It just seems like that though. No truth in it. Yeah Yeah you wish! Amanda from AJ's WLJ gave it to me. Here is the proof. Considering this girl already lost 30 lbs!! I'm pretty flattered :) Thank you Amanda ♥

Let's hear the rules:
1. Thank the person who gave me the award. (oh yeah!)
2. Share seven things about myself.
3. Nominate 15 newly discovered blogs. (not to sound so annoying that's a huge number)
4. Let my nominees know about their award.

The seven things...
1- I have no respect or patience for people who wear fur.
2- I'm claustrophobic! Not so bad but it gets freaky at times I guess.
3- If I didn't have to find a job and had the money I'd open up a book store/ cafe... live happily ever after.
4- I'm a sucker for crime shows.
5- I am against war. I've been to a lot of protests when I was studying in California about the Iraq War and I don't even believe in any kind of violence as punishment. Yet I get teary eyed whenever I hear a story happy or sad about any soldier or US troops in general (well the whole world actually but that's not the subject here) cos I believe those men and women are doing what they do because they believe in something. I do think they have the best intentions at heart and will never understand (hoping not to understand really) why war protesters or whoever feel the need to attack these brave people for any reason at any time. I also can't help but have 100% respect for any person who would risk their own lives to protect any other. Does that make sense what I'm saying or did I just completely butchered this paragraph? Well I think you will understand me.
6- I said I don't believe in violence as punishment but I do believe in violence. I would like to hurt every single homophobe very brutally. That is that.
7- Sometimes I become one of those people who doesn't even try. Fear of failure. So strong.

I'm nominating 5 blogs for now and I didn't cheat. I'm new to all these blogs and they are blogs you should check out :)
Heather @ Fun, Fit and Fabulicious
Jeff @ LIFE Can Be Funny (Sometimes)
He Took My Last Name
Teale @ Teale's Meals
Dre @ Drastically Decreasing Downsizing Dre

Fear No More

I've got news. Let me tell you from the beginning.

On friday I went to my orthopaedist. He was surprised to see me because he thought my right knee was supposed to be in pretty good shape by now. He was right. So I told him what happened to my left knee. I said "I know this is not really what happened but it felt like my knee turned 90 degrees by itself and snapped back." He had a very worried look on his face and he asked me when that happened. I told him a month ago but he was at a seminar so I couldn't see him. Then I told him the pain came back a few weeks ago and it was horrible for 3-4 days. He did not like it.

Still I wasn't that worried anymore. Because I trust him so much I just knew everyhing was OK. Then he told me that "feeling" of the knee turning, yeah, that really happened. I got dizzy. How the hell does that really happen!! Ouch! The pain was bad but I can deal with pain. This thing is plain creepy and far from being natural.

The diagnosis was I tore my cruciate ligamen. The worst was him telling me I might need surgery. He didn't even have a hint of smile on his face which freaked me out even more. He sent me to get an MRI. At the hospital it was way too expensive. So he gave me a phone number. I called, told the lady my doctor gave me the number blah blah so they sent a driver to pick me up from the hospital! That was very very nice of them. I got over the MRI and I was waiting for my father to come pick me up. In 10 minutes they had written up the report and gave me back my results!  That was the cool part and I paid 1/4 of what I would have at the hospital. But I had to wait till the next day to show the report and the images to my doc.

Saturday comes. My boyfriend takes me to the hospital. We wait and wait (I didn't have an appointment we had to wait for an opening) I was about to lose my mind. I hate waiting for anything anyways. But this oh boy I wanted to kick something!

Finally I get in. He looks at the stuff I brought with me. He looks at me and says "you failed. couldn't tear the whole thing." Geez!!! I had a heart attack the first second but recovered quickly. He said the 70% of the ligament was fine. He was smiling again and I took a deep breath, it was gonna be alright afterall.

Now I have to keep sitting on my butt, resting the knee for 10 more days (no workouts of any kind at all) use ice 3 times a day, etc. I have to buy a kneepad. After the resting period, by the way it's so short because so lucky that I got sick in Ankara and couldn't workout, I will start walking very slowly. 1 km (0.62 miles) the first day very slow. Adding half a kilometer each day untill I get to my regular lenght, but need to keep it slower than I am used to and in a few months I can go full force again.

There is a weigh in coming up and I guess I'll be lucky if I don't gain anything. I'd been stressing over the knee and sitting on my butt all day I'm so bored!!! I wanna eat everyhting. Of course I won't. But well... I want to.

Forget about the food for a second though I almost had to go through surgery. I think I can survive 10 days of boredom =D

Surviving

I was supposed to post yesterday but waited till I would workout (no I didn't). It was getting late so I wrote some stuff then my internet connection got cut for some reason. So frustrating living without internet for even a couple hours. I depend on the internet for so many things it's insane. Reminds me what was up with the Biggest Loser Finale? They didn't let anyone speak and kept showing stupid videos of people "reminding" us what they've "gone through" at the ranch. It was my least favorite finale. But I would have been happy with any of them top 3 winning. I used to dislike Mike a lot in the beginning, the old days when he was into eliminating people who deserved to be there more. Now I think he is a grown up man again and he looks so hot!!! They all do. Yay! ((:

By the way Jillian looked hotter than anybody there or I'm just too into that lovely little lady.

I'm finally gonna see my knee doctor tomorrow. He had surgeries, etc all the week so tomorrow was the earliest date I could catch him. I'm very worried about it. This sudden and not-going-away-for-a-couple-of-days-pain in my left knee is scary and new. I really don't even want to think about it. It will be ok. Has to be.

I'm eating alright again. Having difficulty in going back to tracking my food though. I'm so bored of writing and seraching and adding and blah blah blah. I do feel safer with tracking my food so I need to snap out of this atittude and do the work. But seriously I've been good about portion control and this little plate is stuffed grape leaves with fat-free Turkish yoghurt. Last week I would have eaten at least twice as many and with lots of bread. But this was my lunch yesterday. I've been drinking a little too much sugar-free ice tea. I really need something to prevent me from feeling hungry. I'll be cutting back next week. Trying to listen to my body's signals. But the heat is also making me thursty and even in winter I drink about 12 glasses of water a day. Imagine how much liquids my body is asking for!! I'm a walking pool.

One thing I need to fix is my sleep schedule. I've been sleeping after the birds starts to sing and the sun is up. Today I'm seeing the effects. Feeling so tired and my eyes want to close asap. Good thing my doctor's appointment is at noon. I gotta get up early, meaning I can't just stay in bed untill I please. The procrastinator in me got to go on a vacation and leave me alone.

I also can't wait to do something other than light, weight training. I wanna walk again. I want my knees to behave and work with me. Feels like I'm paying for something, but I'm good at blaming myself for everything. Don't worry after spending days, weeks, months thinking on it I find out the truth and come to my senses. Well that might change as I decide to grow up some day.

I might be getting effected by all the shows ending the season and there have been way too many sad sad episodes. Yes I'm watching too much but hey I probably won't have time to watch any soon. But the weekend is coming!!!! We might see the last Shrek movie. We try to watch any 3D movies we can get. I could watch commercials for hours if they were in 3D =)

You know what? I'm already feeling a little better. I'm gonna have to do another post in a minute cos I recieved another award!!! HAH! Then I'll reorganize my wardrobe. I'm not happy with the current state. I'll remove some on the draw systems I'm using and re-arrange some stuff. I think I need to throw out some things and give away others. Yeah it's time already. I also need to catch up on reading blogs. I've read some and lacking commenting. Ayayyayyyy gotta move.

Luv u ♥

Ankara

That's our capital for those who don't know. So I'm in Ankara and I got the flu. I blame the ac on the bus. But mum has it too and dad was recovering when I left so... who knows. I'm guessing I'll be better in a couple of days. I'm not exactly resting in bed but not killing myself either.

It's good to be here. I missed Ivy so much. We have the whole apartment to ourselves and having a little girl time and some fun. Yesterday we also had a guest, Dodo. He is the nicest, sweetest guy on earth and he can't stop laughing at everything for some reason. He also lost a lot of weight since I've seen him last year. Hoping to see him more before I leave. I decided to go back home next thursday by the way. J might come to stay with us over the weekend. Still haven't decided yet. She has a lot to do for school and will let us know by tomorrow. We have some work to do here too. Working slowly on some graduation projects. Oh these bs never ends with the school work.

We had a pizza and ice cream day yesterday. But we are still on our diet schedule more or less. This was our shopping cart on monday. We went grocery shopping as soon as Ivy picked me up from the bus station. See nothing naughty... some chicken breast, turkey, sugar-free ice tea, salad greens, lots of fruit!

Meet my dinner from monday. (I decided I needed to supply some proof) My chicken as always, some salad with fatfree dressing and frozen potatoes with no oil, little ketchup, very little mustard.


This was luch on tuesday. My pasta with tons of tomato, garlic and scallions. One stuffed eggplant. (We like stuffind veggies and leaves in Turkey and when I see eggplant my heart beats faster)




I almost forgot, my left knee has been hurting like a bitch. Well it's been better today. But it started on monday and I was in pain for so long. My eyes teared every time I had to go down the stairs even just one step. I really need to see my doctor when I go back home. I'm guessing he will tell me I need physical therapy. I do not have any means of affording that at the moment and beyond that if I get "the job" I won't have any time. Hope we'll figure out a way to fix it without more trouble.

I haven't worked out since I've been here. But have my weights and videos with me. We can also go for walks when I get better. But we really need to get up early cos it's burning hot in this city. I'm guessing Istanbul will be so hot too when I get back. This summer has come way too fast for me. I never look forward to it. Now it's here and I wish I had the power to keep spring going on for the whole year. Speaking of mind power I just finished reading The Sphere by Michael Crichton. I love this guy so much. Another great book. Always makes me want more. I stole this quote from wiki for you: The New York Times's Robin McKinley said "Part of the fun of Sphere is that it keeps you going even when you're pretty sure of what will happen next." I think I'm reading Timeline by Crichton next.

Today we went out to Starbucks. I don't know what anybody did before Starbucks. I feel so home at any Starbucks. It feels like everybody feels better there. I used to go to Starbucks to study, now I go to read a book, write in my journal, just to get out of my own head... Yeah, one other obsession of mine.

I had a haircut yesterday. Don't like it. The guy didn't get what I wanted and I ended up with this mess. Well.. I'll survive. This is what I looked like drinking my cappuccino today. I don't really like my photo being taken. But hell I wanted to share. For a miracle just for you I'm even smiling :)

My face looks bloated. Look under my eyes. huge bags. Well the bags is a curse for the women in my family. But that's not the point. I sometimes like being bloated cos when it goes down it feels like I lost a lot of weight all of a sudden :p I'll always be a kid (or baby) at heart. 

This is Ivy telling me we don't look good in photos so what's the point :D I think she asked for it complaining too much. Hahaha she looks funny and this is my blog so I got the power *still giggling* I don't think she looks bad though. If I thought so I wouldn't put this photo. I'm not evil. Just bad sometimes.

I asked Ivy to write a guest post on my blog. She said yes. I'm letting you know so she won't have a way out of it if she gets lazy or sth. She has lost some weight herself. Has been working hard on it. She also has some interesting stories to tell about her years of struggle with weight issues. Of couse if she decides to share. We'll see what she'll come up with.

I've been feeling so bad cos I couldn't post for so many days. I hope I'll be able to write again soon. I miss my blog and I miss reading yours'. I have some catching up to do. Soon. I also have new followers. Always a nice surprise ♥

Have a great day everybody!
xoxo
River

New Goodies YAY!

So I didn't confess this before but on April 23rd, one favorite website modcloth.com added this beautiful black dress as a new item. The trick about ModCloth is that most items are sold out in the speed of light. And needless to say for me the dress was love at first sight. From time to time I show some items I like from this site to my boyfriend. And you need to understand if it was possible I would live in this website! Like Alice in Wonderland I wanna get lost in ModCloth... ♥

So boyfriend sees the dress and tells me "let's buy it." At first I objected and told him I didn't deserve it yet. A couple of hours later small and medium sizes were gone!! Sold out. I panicked and he kept sayin "I wanna buy it for you." So... I gave in. How could I not! Look at it! So adorable. They had up to 3X sizes. But we ordered large. Now I have to work to get into the dress and I love the idea!!

Modcloth gives 10% discount for international orders of $100+ So I had put this cutest tshirt to my wishlist a couple of weeks ago. We added that and this strange yet softest, loveliest scarf to the order. Yes I admit I acted like a kid in a candy store! I'm not regretting it though. So I guess this order was my going-below-210-lbs-reward. It is a bigger reward than may be should have. But I'm also thinking it as my one-month-of-blogging-and-keep-going reward. It was exactly one month before that I wrote my very first post!!!

They arrived a couple of days ago. I love them all! I'm not gonna let myself go crazy and order anything else before I should again. I promise!

My knees have been alittle annoying lately. I'm going back to doing my leg exercises (doctor's prescription) hoping it'll help. Working with weights on your ankles also works your lower abs and boy am I sore! I missed feeling sore. Reminds me I need to up my strength training.

I did better with food choices yesterday. Had lots of fish. (I was gonna take a pic cos it looked so good but I was too busy eating it! oops...) My appetitte is calming down, sleeping better, have a little more energy. I'm doing both strength training and cardio today. Will let you know tomorrow.

I said hi to my scale in the morning. Wasn't bad. Hope I'll see a not-so-bad number on Saturday. *Fingers crossed* as always...



UPDATE: Bloggers I'm far away from USA right now but just found out about what's going on in Nashville (one of the places I wanna see soooo bad on Earth) and please visit Beth's blog to read about it and share and hopefully find a way to help!

LOSING IS SWEET

I lost 2 lbs! Honestly I wanted more. But when I stepped on the scale and saw 208.5 I just smiled. It felt good. I feel good.

Don't have much time so this post's gonna be short. I gotta workout before I meet my sweetheart.
I did manage to walk on the treadmill the past two days. 60 minutes each. I had to walk slower but my knee feels a lot better. So it's worth slowing down a bit. My initial panic long gone. Today I'm going for Last Chance Workout. I don't want to fall back on my strength training. I worked on my arms, back, shoulders and core on Thursday. But nothing else whole week. Not good. But next week is a new week and I lost 2 lbs. LOL. I just feel good people I feel great!

I also took some measurements. I will post them during the week. In short I lost 2 inches on my hips, belly; 1.5 inches on my waist and 1 inches from both arms and thighs since the last time I measured.

I've been unfollowed by the way! Yeah someone didn't like my blog. I just wish I knew who that was and why exactly. But I have some new followers and I welcome you all. I actually love you all but don't wanna sound too crazy too soon :)

WEDNESDAY AND SOME BAD KNEES

 I don't know who this little girl is but I'm guessing she knows how I'm feeling right now. My left knee gave up on me. It's been aching a little, but today it was worse. With every step I take I can feel my knee moving. Also when I was walking home from the market in the afternoon something happenned. I don't really know what. But this is how it felt like. I left knee, all by itself, turned left 90 degress and snapped back in place. It hurt so bad. I screamed in the middle of the street. Luckily there wasn't anyone around. I really couldn't handle explaining it to anyone.

I called my doctor, but he is away on some conference. If I could just talk to him I would feel better. Unfortunately that is not possible for now. I also don't have insurance since my father lost his job. I need to register for the government plan thingy but my father gotta do it. Because I'm gonna be added to their insurance or something like that. I don't understand how this works. Because this is the first time in my life I didn't have private insurance. In Turkey when you're working anywhere but a government agency they have to insure you and your children who is not working, whatever their age is, also benefits from your insurance. So this is a first.

I'm scared, worried, annoyed, fed up, angry and sad. No workouts for me today.


Today I cooked pasta for lunch. I make this shrimp recipee a lot. But this time I decided to remove lime and add tomatoes in it. It turned out to be one of the best pasta I've ever had! I couldn't get enough of it. I wanna make more already. So I'm cooking it for me and my boyfriend over the weekend. I have to wait that long cos I'm out of shrimp. It's also a national holiday this friday so we'll have a three-days-weekend, which I'm very excited about. But I had to tell him that we needed to eat some meals at home cos there is no way I can stay in my calorie limit all three days. And I really don't wanna eat more than I should this weekend as last week I had more than a couple days with high calories, fat and all that bad girl business.

I also made a lighter version of Cobb Salad without bacon of course and didn't use any cheese either. Made my own dressing as well. 1/2 tbsp olive oil, mustard, some fat-free salad dressing I love, black-pepper. It was good. It kinda had to be. I'd been craving for a while now. Seemed like every show I watch was mentioning Cobb Salad for no good reason.

I had to buy avocados and wasn't sure how much it would cost. Avocados aren't a part of Turkish cuisine and they are not locally grown. I get to eat it at restaurants but not at home. So I decided to go to the market and see how bad it was. About $1.50 per avocado. Is that bad? I don't think so and it certainly is affordable for me right now. So I got 2. One of them need a couple days to be ready to put my sandwiches so I thought 2 was a good number for now.

So my daily total is 1463 calories eaten. Nothing burned.

TUESDAY

So I'm gonna start with admitting yesterday was not good at all. I ate a little over my max limit but the real bad part was after making a list of things I had to do I didn't workout. Then I went to bed late and woke up at 11 am, turns out I turned the alarm off and fell back asleep cuddling my cell phone. All is good though. Real life doesn't always match lists. I just need to make adjustments sometimes. So for the workout I missed yesterday I decided I can just go for 90 minutes for a couple of days and just add the numbers up.

Today was good. I would have said great if I could wake up on time. But I had a real good workout. I did 35 minutes of a workout dvd and walked on the treadmill for an hour. My total  for today is:
95 minutes
60 minutes @ target heart rate
Burned 1054 calories
Consumed 1665 calories

I'm happy with these numbers. I also cooked one meal as promised. Lentils for dinner. Also walked my doggy. I'm off to bed in an hour so I'm not doing bad with the hours today. I won't be able to get up at 7 am may be but I can do 8 am.

I'm kinda worried about my knees. They hurt not so lightly after my workout today. I iced both of them for 20 mins and rubbed with the gel I'm suppose to. They don't hurt anymore. But I might have to go easy on them tomorrow. Not sure what I'll do yet. We'll see.

Oh I also am forcing myself not to step on the scale until saturday, my regular weigh in day. It's so difficult! It's like the scale is calling me all the time, lifting up her skirt, showing some leg, trying to trick me into self-inflicted torture. But I am stronger than her. I will not fall for her games. Good luck to me
and
Good luck to you my friends!