So far...

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April 22, 2010


I almost ordered pizza for lunch today. I logged in to the website, picked what I want, almost hit the "order" button. Then I stopped. I honestly have no idea what stopped me. Am I evolving? Is this it? Am I gonna be able stop every time I'm about to eat something bad? Don't think so. If for nothing else I don't have the willpower to stop once I'm in the same room with the food, I'm gone. I'm not even in this world. I get high on food. That's what happens. I get high.

After I stopped myself from wasting money and eating a million calories, fat I didn't need I cooked some pasta. Did I want it? May be/May be Not. It doesn't even look that good. Probably because I got lazy grating the parmesan and used the wrong grater. It tasted good though. Added some red bell peppers which adds more taste than it pretends to. I also made the sauce with hazelnut oil. It leaves a sweeter taste in your mouth. And it's good to mix it up a bit considering I eat pasta a lot.

Are you sick of seeing pasta or the same plate over and over again? I love these plates. I don't even let anyone else use them unless I cooked for the whole family and I'm serving the dish. Judge me all you want, I'm nuts. Let's get over it.

Now I don't know what to eat for dinner. I'm bored. Really bored. I invited J to watch some movies this evening. But cancelled it this morning cos I don't feel up to it. I didn't want to drag her down with me. This knee thing is really depressing me. I'm so tired of feeling helpless. I have bad knees and heart by birth! How do you deal with it? Well... sometimes you don't. There is nothing to do sometimes. Nothing.

Thank you for all your nice comments and well wishes about yesterday's post. It helps me more than you know. ♥

Actually my knee doesn't feel as bad as it did yesterday. So I'll try to walk on the treadmill. Not as fast as I would like to but move a little non the less.

This lovely dress is from my favorite website ModCloth. I can't help checking it out every day. And fall in love with another piece of clothing or accessory every time. Today's love affair is with this lovely dress. It's making me a little crazy like I need to lose a million pounds right this second. But it also motivates me.

I'm thinking about purchasing a piece every 10 lbs once I'm down from 200s. Can I afford it? Not sure. But my boyfriend gets excited about this whole thing and wants to buy me everything I like. Don't worry I stop him. But I think I can ask for him to help me with some of my rewards. Any objections? Please don't.

I have a question for you though. How is this blog awards go? If I wanted to give someone an award do I just create a banner of my own and let them know? Because I think I might want to. I realize I've been doing this less than 2 months. But I really value the support you've given me a lot. And I'm a very emotional being. Especially today.


Drazil said...

I've made my own awards (see ho-bag award for answering BYOC questions on Fridays) and Jenny and I made the supportive commenter award (go grab it if you want. No real rules on it I don't think. You think that pasta doesn't look good - OMG - I want to eat the screen! YUMMMO!

fatlittleblackdog said...

well done on ignoring the pizzaurge!


Michelle said...

congrats on being so strong! I wish I could do that! I'm new to your blog and I love it! Congrats on your losses so far!

CJ said...

Controlling the urge to eat pizza was a great decision!! Way to go girl!

Love that top its so cute! May be you can buy a size smaller one and use it as a motivation. Like wear this size by the end of 4 weeks or so!

Steph said...

the pasta looks lovely, i never get tired of seeing lovely food on your blog.

Thank you again for your lovely comments.

can't help with the blog award question i've never really understood the blog award thing. i should google it.

hope your knee feels better soon and i love the dress its really cute for summer x

Aylilth said...

That pasta looked soo yummy!!!

well done and not having the pizza either.

As far as blog awards go to, your guess is as good as mine, I was wondering the same thing.

Al said...

That pasta dish looks amazing! Also your knee will get better, dont push it before it does though or you will just be hurting yourself in the long run :)

Cassandra said...

I love, love, *love* the idea of buying yourself a piece as a "reward" every ten pounds. Losing weight is hard, and you should reward yourself. When I hit major targets, I buy myself something or do something to acknowledge that (I'm even less restrained than you - right now my rewards are at every five pounds or every major fitness accomplishment). It's a good way to keep motivated, and if you start worrying about the cost think of it this way - you're just spending the money you'll save later by being healthier for not being overweight!

And I love that dress. I may need to go check out that website...